Every story worth telling has a Queen at its heart.
For years now, we’ve been building a kingdom together — sometimes brick by brick, sometimes just keeping the roof from blowing off in the storm. Life isn’t a fairy tale and lately, it feels like we’ve had more plot twists than happy endings. My own “diagnoses” — autistic, ADHD, hypopituitarism, whatever else they call it — have thrown the map in the air and left us both searching for new ground.
Some days I barely recognize myself.
Some days you look at me and I know you’re wondering, “Who is this man?”
And then, there are days when we both just have to laugh because if we didn’t, we’d break.
But here’s the truth: through it all, I see you.
The Unseen Load
You carry so much, Kim. More than anyone outside these walls will ever know.
Daniel, Noah, Luke, Faye — each with their own needs, their own storms to weather. Luke, about to turn five, is a handful all by himself. Faye stepping into the wilds of puberty. Our boys, growing, learning, pushing boundaries. And then there’s me: a partner, sometimes a project, sometimes a problem to solve, often just a man trying to do right by you all.
You keep this whole mad house spinning.
You manage the logistics, the emotions, the care.
You love us in ways I sometimes don’t even understand until later.
And I know — especially lately — I haven’t always made it easy.
Diagnosis as Disruption
When I learned what was really behind my patterns, my quirks, my intensity… it shook everything up.
You’ve lived through the fallout: my urgent energy, my looping thoughts, my silences, my outbursts.
You didn’t sign up for this version of me. You signed up for the strong one. The one who gets things done.
Sometimes I worry I’ve become another burden you have to carry.
That’s not what I want for you.
I’ve even asked: if you had to choose again, knowing all you know now, would you still say yes?
I want you to have a second to really think about it.
Because you deserve choice. You deserve the best of me, not just what’s left after I’ve spent my energy fighting my own mind.
Recommitting to My Queen
You are not a footnote to my story.
You are the reason I get up and try again.
You are the centre of the family, the one who keeps the signal strong when everything else is noise.
I want to be the kind of partner who lightens your load, not adds to it.
I want to be your peace, not just another storm.
If I’m the strong one, it’s because you make it possible.
For All That You Do (And All That You Are)
This is not a grand gesture and it’s not enough. But I want you to know: I see you.
I see the late nights and the early mornings.
I see the moments when you swallow your own needs for the sake of the kids (and sometimes, for me).
I see the patience you pull out of thin air, even when you’re tired.
I see the way you hold this family together, even when the edges fray.
You are my Queen.
And I will spend the rest of my days making sure you have the life you deserve — not just in words, but in actions.
If strength is what’s required, I will be stronger.
If calm is what you need, I will learn to be level.
Thank you for choosing me, over and over, through all the mess and magic.
Thank you for being the heart of this kingdom.
I love you, Kim.
And I see you.
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